The role of an Intimacy Coordinator (IC) is about holding an awareness of the creatives you’re working with, taking care of your team when exploring any kind of intimate scenes or themes. We believe this awareness and care should be a part of all creatives’ DNA - ICs are an essential role in the room, however small or large a project, or how early you are in your career.
Want to know how you can become, work with and support an IC? Onboard to help us unpack the role are Intimacy Coordinators Louise Kempton and Elle McAlpine.
Elle McAlpine
Elle McAlpine is an Intimacy Coordinator and teacher working across film, television and theatre. A fully accredited practitioner, McAlpine’s credits include some of the most talked-about international dramas of 2019 including Russell T Davies’ IT’S A SIN and Amblin’s BRAVE NEW WORLD. Having worked as a professional actor for over 8 years McAlpine is well placed to empower the actors during work involving intimacy.
Louise Kempton
Louise trained in Acting at Rose Buford and later a masters in Movement at Guildhall School of Music & Drama where she is currently completely a second MA in Performance Training.
As a movement director her interests cover a broad spectrum of disciplines including period dance, chorus and puppetry. Developing her professional practice further by specialising in intimacy coordination, she started training with Intimacy on Set in 2018. She works now as a coordinator in TV, film and theatre, under the mentorship of IOS creator, Ita O’Brien. Intimacy Coordination credits include Dangerous Liaisons, Starz; Chloë, BBC; Masters in the Air, Apple TV; Young Wallander, Netflix and Brave New World, Hulu.
Movement direction and choreography include Masters House, NYT; Boy, LAMDA; We Anchor in Hope, The Bunker; Our Countries Good, Tobacco Factory; Chaos, National Theatre Connections, Twelfth Night, Southwark Playhouse. Louise is a regular ‘pure’ movement teacher at various conservatoires including RADA, Guildhall, Mountview and Arts Ed. Louise has recently collaborated with artist Lucy McGeown of the London Drawing Group to create a three-part online Laban inspired series of classes, ‘Drawing Movement: Reading the Body’.
What does an Intimacy Coordinator do?
(Louise) An intimacy coordinator is there in theatre to support and facilitate the rehearsal and casting process. If you're working in TV, then it’s also the action on set, the actors, directors and the crew, whenever we're making any kind of intimate content. And so the kind of support we offer depends on the project. We make sure that the space is safe, creative, and that the action is something that is repeatable. We’re rehearsing now (today) to save you time later (on set) so that you can repeat a scene again and again, hitting your mark and telling your story. This extra time and attention allows the actors to be acting to the best of their ability without worrying about having to make anything up that feels unsafe. Like a fight - if a fight was being choreographed, you want to be able to repeat that fight if you need another take or a different angle. In theatre, it's slightly different because it’s live, however during a run of a show, that same fight needs to be repeated, night after night.
(Elle) The way I like to think about it is that an Intimacy Coordinator advocates for actors and crews on TV or film sets - it's been really hard to get into theatre. The job is likened to Movement Direction for intimacy and intimate scenes, but actually, the skill sets are quite different. We oversee consent and choreography on a variety of hyper exposed scenes, from minimum kissing, or hand-holding, or even at times just discussions about intimacy. We’re sometimes there to get an energy into the space or to have a general conversation about what is being talked about, which a lot of people can find very awkward and uncomfortable. So we facilitate those conversations and make people start talking about sex. We also work in collaboration with other specialists, whether that be drama therapists, welfare practitioners or experts that deal with trauma. We’ve worked with midwives before when there have been birth scenes, and actually, that's very intimate. I also see us as a through-line of communication on set. A lot of the time, the different departments work very independently and are quite isolated and there's not a huge amount of communication between them. And it seems to me that the IC is suddenly somebody that starts talking about things. And everyone's like, “Oh, yeah, we should talk about that”. Ultimately, it's to advocate for crew and actors whenever it comes to intimate and vulnerable scenes that require management. Combined, theatre, TV and film have the capacity to reach millions and if we can show sex in all of its stickiness and smelliness and awkwardness and beauty, then you're educating people too.
“my boundaries were adhered to, the communication was clear, my scene partner respected everything that I had said - I felt held, I felt supported.”
Why did you choose to become an IC? How did you get into it? And what does the role mean to you?
(Louise) So I've been acting since 2005. I trained at Rose Bruford doing the BA in Acting and then I did my MA in Movement at Guildhall. I’ve always been fascinated in the body, in the movement of the actor. I was fortunate to train in puppetry quite a few years ago for a show and that certainly channelled my focus on working more directly as a performer with the body. I'd started working with student actors, whilst at Guildhall, and well you know, I absolutely love them because I think actors are incredible people. They are so brave and playful, and it's an ultimate craft and a skill to be able to tell a story well. But being there back in a drama school environment, seeing again the training; it’s an intense time at drama school and some people need more support to make the playing as much about the craft rather than about your own personal injuries or worries. Of course, it doesn't matter what age you are, but young actors in training are mostly leaving home for the first time and that's enough of a heartache and a stretch as it is. I heard about Intimacy Coordination through Danny McGrath (movement teacher and mentor who taught me at RB and later at Guildhall) and then I looked up Ita O’Brian at Intimacy On Set and jumped in.! I also did some other research and development before Ita - a weekend taster workshop with Yarit Dor after I graduated in 2018, as well as attending a workshop for movement teachers about safe rehearsal spaces by Vanessa Ewen at Central, and so started my intimacy pathway from there. And then all the wonderful peers in intimacy I’ve met along the way. For me initially, it was particularly about young actors. It's often the young ones that get jobs that require intimacy, and often they are either fresh out of training or they haven't trained. Doing my MA in 2016-2018 I was teleported back to my own training, which for me, on the whole, was a great time. However there were definitely situations, especially when I left drama school and started doing short films and bits of theatre where you're all gung-ho, and actually, it’s like, hang on a minute, maybe it would have been nice to have asked for consent first, or to have gone through the process and through-line of the action, you know? I sometimes think, am I being a bit obvious here with the things that I'm asking for as an IC, but it's not, because for some people it isn't obvious, or it’s the seemingly simple things that get rushed over, but they can have huge consequences if not handled properly. Simple things about courtesy and kindness, in slowing down and having a bit more obvious consideration. It’s about a shared sense of your innate considerations; stuff that you might be thinking in your head, we share it out loud openly with the group, cast AND crew. I have absolute faith in the craft of acting and I want to uphold that creativity, it’s precious and people working critically hard at their craft, and you don't want to dismantle it.
(Elle) I trained as an actor and I've been a working actor for nearly 10 years. I went to Drama Centre where I met Ita O'Brien who trained me as an IC. I helped her in 2017 for about a year and a half, where Ita used me and a couple of others and we’d do her workshops and show them to the industry. And it was an incredible experience, to feel the work, to embody the work and see how much it changed my own attitude and perspective towards intimate content. Because I had, like most young actors, very awkward and very difficult experiences on sets where it was not handled appropriately, and not to fault anyone, because nobody was aware of what needs to be done to hold people in that vulnerable space when you're doing a sex scene. In the second workshop that I did, we had the Sunday Times in and they were doing a big spread on Intimacy Coordination. I was doing a scene from Cowboy Mouth by Sam Shepherd & Patti Smith, and it's this explicit sex scene. We choreographed it and it was amazing, and I remember really loving the process, feeling embodied and feeling excited about the whole thing. When we showed our scene it went the way that we'd blocked it, and then one of the beats at the end was when both characters come to a climax and I was on my back, arching it, and the photographer came and took a photo. Instantly I thought, “he's gonna use that”. And lo and behold a double-page spread, and it’s my face, in climax. But the amazing thing is I felt totally empowered by it. It had come totally from a character perspective, my boundaries were adhered to, the communication was clear, my scene partner respected everything that I had said - I felt held, I felt supported. It was just a sort of aha moment. I think the myth about ICs is that we come in and we police and make things less impulsive and restrictive, which I hate. Actually, what happens when you put boundaries in place, when you support actors and crew, and when performers understand each other's boundaries and understand agreement and consent of touch, the performance of intimate scenes is taken to a whole other level. Because people are being looked after.
“Most of the general knowledge I have about this world is through my jobs. I know about Greek history and tragedy through Greek chorus and ensemble directing, I understand politics through artwork”
What skills does an intimacy coordinator need?
(Louise) Everyone brings their own wonderful and intrinsic personality to the job, it’s the same as hiring a particular choreographer or particular fight coordinator or movement director. Often you get people who come from different schools of training and different experiences. I do genuinely believe that some kind of body training or embodied awareness or practical understanding of the movement in an artistic sense is essential. So movement, you can think of it technically and you can really go through the technical physical beats of understanding how the body works. But then there’s understanding that body and the language of how you communicate correctly, in a way that is artistic and emotional. I work within the connection between breath and sound and voice - it's not just the body but the whole thing. It’s the sounds that come out of that body. The internal and external rhythms of that body tell so many stories. So yes I think you have to have some sort of embodied practice, and, the skills of understanding actors - an actor's process. I think you have to be fantastically interested in everything. Most of the general knowledge I have about this world is through my jobs. I know about Greek history and tragedy through Greek chorus and ensemble directing, I understand politics through artwork. I think you have to be a good observer: observation, listening, sensing and a very good kinesthetic awareness is really important because you haven't just got the actors, you've got the director, the DOP (Director of Photography) and the crew. And you have to hold that whole space in your awareness gently and be alive to it. And you have to be good at admin! We do risk assessments, schedule breakdowns and health and safety. We are part of mental, psychological and emotional health, and also sometimes physical; some of the intimate stuff is quite full-on. Humour always helps in any job. I think that's a prerequisite for intimacy.
(Elle) I think there are a plethora of skills. And I do think that each individual IC brings their own skillset and sometimes they can be drastically different! I'd say the main pillars are having a good understanding of bodies in space and a good understanding of movement and choreography. So we've got ICs coming from movement direction backgrounds, from dance backgrounds - I come from an actor training background. So I've done a lot of physical work and I do a lot of physical theatre and have done for a long time, and I think that helps with the choreography. But the confidence comes from being able to understand what looks good on camera. For example, we use anchoring where we never want pelvic regions to be touching and so you anchor bodies onto different parts of the body such as the back of the thigh. We also have barriers that we put in place, like cushions. Another skill is the ability to read people and to sense when somebody might need help, and when somebody is actually just working through things. Ultimately, it's about being able to communicate very clearly “I am here for you", I can hold space for you because I'm solid in my own understanding of this work. But if you need to see a therapist, if you need to speak to somebody, I can't be that person for you”. You have to have the skills to be able to articulate very clearly other people's boundaries, and your own boundaries as an IC. You need the ability to hold many different departments within your awareness; you've got costume, props, the director, producers, actors and hair and makeup. You've got so many incredible people that you need to have check-ins with. Intimacy Coordination is so new and we can learn so much from these people too.
“We really, really, really want people to say no, because actually when you say no, amazing things can come from that obstacle and it can create great scenes and you'll get a great performance from someone because you're adhering to their boundaries and respecting their areas of consent.”
What does a first meeting with an IC look like? What do I need to prepare or ask?
(Louise) The first person an IC meets with would generally be the producer. We’ll have a conversation, go through the whole script and discuss anything that has some degree of intimacy, whether it's small or large. Often, when we read the script there are a lot more moments that haven't been considered as intimate - like a person in the shower on their own. So you see that the scene states ‘shower’ and then you ask: “what's going to be on show? Do you want to see full nudity? Is it from the head and shoulders?”. But on paper, it might seem insignificant. That's why we talk to writers too because often they have a very clear vision, especially with TV. We earmark all possible intimate moments, start acknowledging these moments, so we can then check in with the director to get their thoughts. Sometimes these questions can't be answered early on because the director and the actors add their beautiful flavour to something as the work evolves. But it's about us flagging these moments as early as possible, so it's not suddenly time to shoot and that actor’s not actually comfortable with being in their boxer shorts for example. I think it's about respecting people. So we talk to the producer, and then absolutely our most important call is with the director to find out about their vision - you have to be a really good listener because we’re there to facilitate their work. Some directors might ask you to choreograph the whole thing, so it's really good to tap into that director’s vibe to assess “what do you need from me?”. Then we check in with the actors to find out their vision, before we have a rehearsal, to see if there’s anything we should know about, something that might be triggering, so we're sensitive to the individual. And then we get in touch with the wardrobe department and we talk about genitalia coverings, cushions and barriers. I will have a conversation with the first AD, because they are very much the person who controls the space on set, so we discuss closed set protocols. I also get in touch with the second AD about scheduling, to find out if and when there’s a rehearsal. In theatre, it's more immediate, but we still have all those preliminary conversations. You'll have to chat with the producer and you're very much in touch with the stage manager as they hold the space. It's about communicating and checking in.
(Elle) I'd say the most integral relationship is with the director, you're very much supporting and facilitating his or her vision. And it's very much about working collaboratively with the director who has the vision. You need to have the same language from the beginning and that comes through interrogating the script. And if you have the writer as part of the creative process then the writer is also very important. A lot of writers detail “they have sex”, and obviously you can get a sense of what this is, but you can go anywhere with shape and form and that's when the director's vision is really important. You need to have clear and bold conversations about what they want, to work out why that sex scene is there, what the storytelling is in the sexual expression. You need to understand why that serves the story, does it change anything? Does it show something? Those conversations can be so exciting because we can start to understand why they're having sex in this way, or why they're engaging with each other intimately in this way. It's an amazing way to show character and to serve storytelling. Another really important relationship is with the producers - that's a more clinical relationship where you talk about fees and schedules. I have very detailed conversations with the actors about the intimate scenes they're in, what their queries, concerns and boundaries are before getting to set; their nudity agreements, and with that the power of saying no. We really, really, really want people to say no, because actually when you say no, amazing things can come from that obstacle and it can create great scenes and you'll get a great performance from someone because you're adhering to their boundaries and respecting their areas of consent.
How can I support an IC in a rehearsal room as a director, performer or designer for example?
(Elle) I think the biggest thing that comes to mind is to give us time. And a lot of the time the intimate scenes are put at the end of the day but nobody wants to do a sex scene when they're full and tired, it's not cohesive to be people feeling confident. Actually, if you put it at the beginning of the day, it can be done with more ease because inevitably people worry about sex scenes, and if you're having to think about the sex scene when you've got two other scenes to do then you're anticipating it. And it's really difficult for an actor to compartmentalize that. One of my pillars of work is open communication and transparency because at the end of the day this is your project, your baby, and it's a collaborative thing. Sometimes I go on set and all I'm there to do is to make sure the boundaries aren't crossed, to make sure that there's a closed set. Sometimes they don't want my choreography and that's completely fine. Sometimes the directors have a brilliant practice and they know how to do it and so it's about facilitating conversations and making sure that if an actor needs to speak to me then I'm there open and engaged.
“The most important thing for you as a director is for your actors to have a vessel or a space where they can be 100% honest.”
What can I ask an IC to help with?
(Louise) We can be employed to do an overall talk to your whole crew, so creatives from all departments start to understand our role - that is the broader picture, a general consultation. You can use us to really hone in on a particular scene and help with one particular moment. And it's a wonderful way to set up the room if you don’t have a large budget. For one theatre project, I was there for an intense half-day rehearsal and to introduce a warm-up for intimacy exploring animal into character, finding rhythms, breath and contact. Really building that physical language and finding our “yes’s and no’s” and forming that agreement and consent of touch. Having that check-in and offering that process can really help companies who can't afford you to be there for every single rehearsal - we can still help you build a foundation of work.
(Elle) You can ask an IC to come in and completely choreograph and facilitate your sex scenes. But you can also ask an IC to host conversations about the energy of a scene, perhaps asking “why is this scene here?”. In an R&D (Research and Development), you can ask an IC for their advice on how best to write a sex scene, because actually, if you don't have an IC onboard but the way you've written the scene is very clear and the beats are simple then your actors are very clear on what is going to be required of them because it's in the script. This way you’re going to have less initial problems because you're not jumping or throwing anything out there last minute. You can ask an IC to have a general initial chat with your actors about their boundaries and their consent because a lot of actors really struggle to talk to the director - they want to please the director and so it's difficult. The most important thing for you as a director is for your actors to have a vessel or a space where they can be 100% honest.
How much does an IC cost?
(Louise) There are many ICs at different levels of experience and training; offering differing fees according to this. Those gaining experience may be able to work at a more reduced rate. It's all relative, and like many freelancers, availability and schedules can affect a fee. The day on set or in the room rehearsal is probably the tip of the iceberg of an IC’s work. A lot of the job responsibility happens before that moment on set so sometimes fees are higher than other crew members or we have a half-day prep/post - more like an AD fee. It’s evolving so fees are still being negotiated but you’ll find great support to suit all budgets. I believe having this role on a project is extremely important. I’m a movement director as well, so sometimes I'm employed for movement and intimacy. So, you can be clever in that way if needing to work for budgets. Some IC’s are fight directors too or choreographers. I believe in some shows, movement practitioners should be paid as Writers! You can watch whole scenes, especially on TV, where no words are spoken and it's what they are physically doing in that space that tells the story. When writing the physical content - it would be great to truly collaborate like that on a project as a joint ‘writer’.
(Elle) There are a plethora of people who are training and who want the experience. If you don't have much budget then I would talk to those training bodies and say I'd love to work with a trainee or an IC under mentorship. So I mentor a few people and it's like, they're always fully accredited intimacy coordinators who are looking after those that are training. But it is really important to connect with somebody first, even if it is via zoom, and just ask about the way that they work and if that will fit the project. Do as much work as you can in asking those questions. If you can't afford an IC, I would try and budget for and organise a consultation with one, asking how you can safely handle your actors. Because at the end of the day, that's all that matters to me, is that people are safe and that people are doing this work safely.
How can I become an IC?
(Elle) A lot of people come from movement backgrounds. I know a lot of ICs that come from stunt backgrounds and martial arts as well. You've got yoga teachers too, who facilitate big spaces and are coming into the IC world. I believe that directors could train in this work and have both skills to be able to direct and be an IC. I do think it's important that you gain training, to understand the modes of working. If you're interested in TV and film, it's a really new role, so it's the birth of something and I think it's going to evolve and shift and change. Mental Health, First Aid and having conflict resolution training is really important. And you want to research and understand the world of sex, from a holistic/bodies in space approach. It's good to have a vocabulary, you don't ever want to go into the personal, “I have sex like this”. You can use Laban or energy centres, or you can use rhythms such as in animals - they have great rhythms. Those are great ways to articulate.
Where can I find an IC?
Intimacy on Set: https://www.intimacyonset.com/
Intimacy for Stage & Screen: https://www.intimacyforstageandscreen.com/
Go onto IMDb and search Intimacy Coordinator.